trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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