oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
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