Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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