from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
people are starting to question the shark bite story
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
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I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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