In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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