And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize