id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why is there bacon in the couch?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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