I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
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He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
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The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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