Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
whose parrot is this?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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