I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize