and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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