two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize