Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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