you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize