No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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