I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
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dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
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We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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