how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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