tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
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While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize