I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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