i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The power of my boobs compel you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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