Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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