i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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