you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize