i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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