38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He has the fingertips of a God
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize