I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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