Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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