Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize