it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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