whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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