I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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