Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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