its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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