The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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