the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
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There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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