I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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