don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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