So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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