I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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