there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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