Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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