I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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