i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
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In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
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I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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