I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
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he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
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I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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