the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
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We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
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Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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