yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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