Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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