This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
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Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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