I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize