There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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